The New Parent Drinking Game

I recently read about the "Shark Week Drinking Game" and thought it would be funny to come up with the New Parent Drinking Game. Except if you're nursing you might have to take shots of something healthy of course :D

Take a shot every time:

1. Someone says "Our little angel started sleeping through the night within the first 3 months"
2. Some says "You know, breast is best"
3. You get peed on
4. You get spit up on
5. You get poo'd on
6. Baby starts crying once you sit down for dinner
7. Baby starts crying as soon as you step in the shower
8. Someone says "Just nap when baby naps"
9. A mother compares her parenting style to yours
10. You have to start considering "cry it out" methods, in that case, take a few shots and go for it

Forgiveness, and Self-Worth

It's National Forgiveness Day today. It's ok if you didn't know that, I forgive you.

Anyway, it made me think about the act of forgiving and being forgiven.

Do you ever say you are sorry just so someone can say it back? I have, and it doesn't feel the same when that person apologizes immediately after.

Sometimes we count on others for our self-worth. Whether it's by receiving compliments, being told "You are right", or being apologized to. It seems like such an egotistical thing, but it is so engrained in our being.

I want to start being more selfless. Letting go of the ego. I don't want to want to hear how I was right about an argument, or fish for compliments. If these things do happen, it should just be the sugar on top.

It's hard letting go of the ego. Time to be in the moment.

"Me" Time

A good friend of mine just recently went through a bad break-up (they were practically married, well they were in spirit, but not legally, long story).

Anyway, now she's feeling the loss of not having a family and is considering having a baby. So I told her it really is an amazing thing. My only doubt with it, is she is at such a pivotal moment in her life. She is just coming out of a heavy depression. She's changed so much already to become more healthy mentally and physically. What I told her about having a baby is your "me" time diminishes greatly.

She asked me what I meant by "me" time and for some reason, maybe because I haven't been sleeping so great due to my sonshine - I could only say "um, you know, like having your hair look nice when you leave the house..."

Anyway, I can't believe the following didn't spill out of my mouth. These are the things I either have to do with an eye on the baby or have someone watch him:

1. Using the restroom
2. Taking a shower
3. Brushing my teeth
4. Painting my nails
5. Putting my make up on
6. Going to get my hair done
7. Going to the gym/exercising 
8. Going out for a drink
9. Spa day
10. Nap whenever I want to
11. Running errands on a whim (I have to consider if he's napped yet, or what his feeding schedule is like)
12. Long road trips

I can probably say more, but these little things - and I know a lot of them are literally 'cosmetic', but these things I miss taking my time on. Don't get me wrong, my amazing husband helps me out so much, but my point is, from now on, everything I do needs to take consideration for my lil ray of sonshine and who can help or how do I get him into the same room with me while I do it.

Lastly, I did tell her I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world and there's definitely the trade off and I would be supportive of whatever she decides.

The days immediately following one of the biggest days of your life

Post-partum depression. I'd heard the term before. I remember thinking "why would someone be sad when they just had a baby?". "Brooke Shields was probably just bummed she wasn't on her own anymore and had to take care of someone else. How selfish."

I couldn't have been more wrong. I recently read this post by Allie Brosh re: her depression. This chick is hilarious, although it seems weird to talk about her hilarity and depression at the same time. The part that stuck out to me the most was where she's drinking juice and her eyes are welling up with tears.

This happened with me and sushi. Now, you might think they were tears of joy because I missed the sushi so much. But I started downright crying right in the middle of dinner. My husband couldn't understand what I was going through.

It always happened at night. During the day, it was rays of sunshine and happiness with my new little baby boy. "I got this!" I would say. Then come 5pm and I'm thinking "Oh shit, I've made a terrible mistake" (having a child).

Now, the mistake wasn't having him, it was more of "what type of world did I bring him into??". Watching America's Most Wanted or even just the news propelled this fear even further.

I wasn't prepared to love someone this much. I knew love. I love my husband dearly. He's my best friend and my other half, my soul mate. But he can take care of himself too, he's a grown man.

My thoughts changed after baby. All of a sudden my son and he were to be protected from everything. I didn't want my husband losing any sleep. I felt bad if he had to go back to work. I felt terrible if he had to put the dishes away. I should be doing that! I should wake up in the morning and make him breakfast! I will stay up with the baby all night!

Anyway, things have changed now. I've stopped trying to do everything at once I do one or two things a night. Dishes and dinner tonight. Laundry and tidy up another. The house is still a mess. Although, I can say I'm happier now that I've stopped trying to be the "hero". It's ok if the clean clothes lay around on the couch for a week. It's ok if we get food delivered.

All I can do is be the best me and love my husband and son. I've come to accept the fact that I can't protect them from everything (you should have seen the look I gave his dr when he gave him his immunizations.) I can't stop him from crying if he's going to cry. I can only offer comfort and my undying love and support. I can just be me and know that they love and accept that.

Family trip to LA

This past weekend we went up north to LA from San Diego to visit my family. They've only seen my son a couple times so this was a real treat for all of us.

But of course, we chose the hottest weekend so far of the year to go. 100 degress in Chatsworth! We were going to stay at my grandma's but decided we needed a mega air conditioner to deal, so we stayed at a hotel.

My grandma, brother (and his 8 month old son), and sister showed up and we had pizza. It was fun seeing the babies interact with each other, and to see the joy on my family's face.

Here are some pics from the trip. The one in plaid shorts is my son, he's here with his cousin and great grandma:

Cara Box Reveal: Go Green

This month I joined the Cara Box Exchange. Women with different blogs are partnered with 2 other women and you get together a box of goodies that go with a theme and send it off to them. It's a great way to meet women, get your blog read, AND get fun stuff in the mail!

Here's my reveal:

My partners were Amy @ Taking Steps Home and Leah @ Life as a Payne.

What I sent Leah:

My mom-in-law and I partnered up and created a homemade Chevron shopping bag and 3 handkerchiefs for her 3 dogs.


Inside view of bag 

Also not pictured was organic mac n cheese because her favorite foods are "starch" :)

What I got from Amy:

She sent me some seeds for "new beginnings", a pretty candleholder, some sketch books and pencils to practice drawing, some coffee, and a room freshener.

This was really fun! I can't wait for the next one! To join click below:

"Family" vs. "Relatives"

So this is sort of a vent. The nice thing about this blog right now is my loved ones don't really know about it so it's like a place I can say things without worrying about people reading it and judging or getting hurt over anything I say. Not that I have hurtful thoughts towards anyone.. Anyway I'm ranting and this is supposed to be venting.

I gave birth to my son on September 22nd 2012. My mom and grandma came down that night before he was born and stayed with me for a few days. My sister came down once on November 17th. That was the last time I've seen her.

I would randomly send her and my mom pics and videos of my son. They'd always respond and be like "how cute!" and whatnot. My mom calls me almost every Sunday just to see how things are going.

Now, I've never really been the type that felt the need to chat all the time to "stay in touch" with people. But I'm pretty hurt that my sister never calls to see how her nephew is doing. I am not sure her husband likes me, because there was once a misunderstanding of them coming down to visit and me wanting to postpone and them getting upset over it. (Long story, maybe I'll post about it later).

So cut to a couple months ago, I drive up to Los Angeles every other week, and for awhile I'd stay there for 2 days to work. Usually I stay at my moms house but this time I wanted a change of scenery.

I text my sister to see if I could stay there and the excuse she gives me is that their apartment is too small and the bathroom is an issue in the morning because they both get ready to go to work at the same time.

Is it just me or is that a lame excuse? I could've just gotten up earlier than them to get ready, or even later - do they not trust me to stay at their place while they aren't there? I feel like even offering to have me stop by for a little would have been another option on her behalf but she didn't even care I was going up there.

Anyway, I just responded "OK". The next text I got from her was a work question. Then nothing for a while. I sent her a card for her birthday in March. She said thanks in text. Still nothing from her asking how her nephew is.

Now we are going up there in May and I asked if her and her hubby can stop by and say hello. She said she'd be there but automatically didn't think he could make it because he "works late and might not want to do the family thing".

To sum it all up, I now understand the concept of "family" and "relatives". Relatives are people who are born in your kin. Family are the people around you that show you support and genuinely want to know that you are doing well. And just as a side note, I had texted her at one point to see how she was doing, and she said they were doing well but I didn't get a "how are you?" back.

End vent.

Cara Box Exchange

Just signed up for this. It's a network of bloggers who send a box out of 5 items that go to a theme. Pretty awesome! The person I'm paired up this time can be found here: http://lifeasapayne11.blogspot.com/

So now I have to get to know her through her blog and put together a little gift box :)

I probably should include my Gift exchange sender as well!!! http://www.takingstepshome.com/

My first blog music share

It doesn't all have to be about babies :)

Crying it out

I...just...want 4 straight hours....of sleep.... Ferber, you aren't really helping much. Is it always this maddening???  </vent>

I refuse to touch my kitties

I feel terrible about it, but with as much as I'm holding baby, I just don't seem to be able to find the time to pet them. I know they are covered in bacteria, and my "new mom" OCD is in overdrive so I can't see myself petting them then touching baby in any way.

This "new mom OCD" thing came as a surprise, I thought it was just me. But there's an article on it, so it must be true right?

New Mom OCD

The secrets parents keep

Things I feel like parents keep from other parents-to-be:

1. Say good-bye to sleep. I know a lot of parents do actually say that, but usually it's said with a smile. Don't smile. Look at this parent-to-be in the eye and tell them gravely that they literally will not sleep for a few days and after that, REM will become the holy grail.
2. Having a baby means being completely self-less, even when you're sleep-less and all you want is "me" time. Sorry, that's a no go for the first couple months.
3. How about NOT mentioning how your lovely baby slept through the night within the first month? It gives the rest of us complexes.
4. The concept of sleep-training and how terrible it really is to hear your baby cry without being able to go to him. Now, I know it's not for everyone, but I wish someone would have mentioned it to me so I could have anticipated it and not gone seeking for it in sleep-deprived desperation.
5. It's ok to order in. You don't have to be perfect and have a spotless home and cook gourmet meals. Just take care of yourself and family by giving them and you as much love as you can. That's all that matters.
6. Be prepared to have your relationship tested.  Arguments over ridiculously petty things will arise, and most of it is because you are so tired. Talk it out, or take a break. Just remember the things that really matter and live in the moment.
7. Your will, your sanity, and your identity will also be tested. Although this is a self-less time, if you deprive yourself of small pleasures, you are so thinned out it's not healthy for you and you won't be able to be fully "there" for your family.
8. If you thought you knew love, you are in for a surprise. Once you look into this baby's eyes, you will discover a love so unexplainable intense it will turn your whole world upside down.

Just saying...

Whoever said you shouldn't cry over spilled milk was definitely not a lactating mother.

“Tis a Folly to cry for spilt milk.” Jonathan Swift’s Polite Conversation 1738

I won the Breastfeeding Battle!

Baby has always had trouble latching so for six weeks I'd pump and supplement with formula with a bottle.

At 4 weeks of pure bottle feeding, a nurse practitioner saw I had an appointment with a lactation consultant and you know what she said? "He'll never latch. He's had it too easy with the bottle, but I guess you can meet with her anyway."

Anyway, I was resilient.

After meeting a few times with the lactation consultant and going to BF support groups, I got some great tips to get baby to latch.

1. Feed him with Breastflow bottles. They have a shorter nipple and require baby to suck more like if he's on the breast.

2. Do some mouth exercises with him: put your left index finger and press lightly on his chin. When his mouth is open, insert your clean right index finger into his mouth and press lightly on the roof of his mouth with the soft side of your finger. This helps bring his toungue out and gets him sucking.

3. BF using a nipple shield and make sure his body is well supported and facing you.

4. Don't frustrate baby if he is too hungry. Do the mouth exercise then give him an oz of food then try to put him on. Drop some milk onto your nipple as he roots for it. If he starts crying/screaming, give him more bottle.

5. Be positive and don't give up. I have nothing against exclusive bottle feeding but if you desire to breastfeed just keep trying.

You're doing it wrong...

They're not dog slippers, they're bears.

He prefers to be swayed rather than rocked.

No, pat him at this speed, with this pressure.

The bottle must be held it at a 45 degree angle, if it's too high he drinks it too fast, too low and he sucks air.

No, just give him 2 ounces.

He's not hungry yet.

Just burp him.

He just wants to be entertained.



I wonder how annoyed my husband is...

She said, so he said...

Wife: Honey, I think you should consider AA.

Husband: I think you should consider Weight Watchers.

Touché

Things I say now that I'm a parent

1. Did he poop?
2. This blanket makes too much noise.
3. No poop.
4. I'm off beans for now, but thanks.
5. I'm exhausted.
6. Who farted?
7. Is it organic?
8. Crap, I didn't bring a pacifier.
9.  (Puts baby to bed) Adult time! (Falls asleep)
10. (Baby asleep in other room) I miss my baby.

Hey, baby.

Things I wish I could tell baby:

1. Waking up at 5am and staying up til 7am is just not cute.
2. Please adhere to quiet time during episodes of Downtown Abbey.
3. Is it ok if mommy finishes her dinner first?
4. Can you wait for me to finish using the bathroom before you wake up again?
5. Do you mind carrying my purse while I carry you, the diaper bag, and the day's tools and necessities to the car?
6. The car seat is meant for your safety. Deal with it.
7. Mommy putting the volume up in the car while you cry means quiet time. 
8. Bibs are meant for catching the spit up. Try to target that area.
9. I don't mind if you lovingly brush my hair but it is not meant to test your grip.
10. I love you more than anything and wouldn't change a thing.